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Barb's Blog

Laziness or Re-grouping?

Posted on September 14, 2012 at 1:25 AM

My three day per week nanny position ended a few weeks ago. I find myself laying about more and more. It feels wonderful, fantastic, yet, I feel guilty for doing it. Shouldn't there be SOMETHING else I should be doing? And then, I berate myself for feeling guilty. I deserve to give myself any and all breaks I need. Chronic pain tires a person out, big time. Considering all my body has been through, I do more than my fair share of chores and errands.

From this day foreward, I resolve not to feel guilty, for taking time to lay down, taking time to read a book, (I've read 5 books in the last two weeks!) or any other activity that used to make me feel guilty! I am letting go of shoulds and shouldn'ts!

I live in Southern California and it has been hot here! When I was younger, i loved the summer and heat never bothered me. Not so, these days. I wilt the minute I am outside. I do not remember sweating so much, when I was younger. Is my memory faulty or is increased sweating another joy of getting on in years? 

I mean, I have already experienced the hot flashes of menopause.  No one prepared me for those lovely changes that made me feel like my body was a heat seeking missle! I wouldn't call them hot flashes. That makes it sound like they are, oh, so, brief! You know, "FLASH" and it's over. Let me tell you, they went on and on and on! There were times I stuck  my head in the freezer, seeking relief. Or shed my clothes and jumped in a cold shower. Or put ice in a baggy and applied it to my forehead, stomach and back. These were POWER SURGES! Feeling like I was burning up, from the inside out. Sweat on my neck, stomach and back, with my pants becoming soaked around the waist! Just one of those little joys of getting older.

And what is with this sudden problem when I sneeze or cough? I don't care if I just emptied my bladder ten minutes ago! Cough or sneeze and I hold myself, like I am three years old, trying to get to the bathroom, before I pee my pants!  I feel like my body is totally betraying me. I thought I knew it so well, but find out we are complete strangers! It's like the woman, married 25 years, laying in bed listening to her husband snore and fart in his sleep, wondering, what the hell?! I thought he was so dashing and had such class! Oh, the joy of getting older. But, I guess it beats the alternative all to hell.

LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH-eyepoetress

Categories: Life

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